I'm really hesitant to publish this post. It's been sitting on my computer for weeks in various forms. I've written it from different angles and rethought it a hundred times. But ultimately the situation weighs so heavily on my heart and mind so much of the time, that I feel like I need to post it.
In-laws. Does the word make everyone cringe? Or is it just me? I had wonderful, youthful fantasies about getting married and being welcomed into another family where I would have a mother-in-law who was helpful and kind and always there if we needed her. Sisters-laws and brothers-in-laws who would be great friends, and all of our kids would love growing up together as cousins and the best of friends. Fast forward to reality and I was rudely awakened by a family that not only didn't care so much for me, but for my American culture. Say whaatt?? Um, don't you folks live here too? I know lots of people have contentious relationships with their in-laws. The real question is, what do we do about a relationship between them and our children?
We've tried inviting them over, going to them, meeting them places.. but they still always act the same way. They treat Roman horribly, like he's beneath them and a child who can't possibly make his own decisions. They say they want to see the kids, but when they do, they watch them without interacting. Every now and then they will ask Braeden a question, but not be satisfied with his answer. Evan might as well not exist. However, now that we have Maggie, they want to visit more often because of "the girl". They have, on more than one occasion, brought gifts for Braeden and Maggie and not Evan. They will ask Roman on the phone how Maggie is, but not mention the boys. I'm not even sure our kids know exactly who they are to them. Braeden knows it's "daddy's mom" and "daddy's grandfather", but Roman's mother has always refused to tell the kids to call her Grandma. I really struggle as a mom to allow this behavior near my children. I don't want them exposed to people who treat others this way. What would you do?