Starting the Conversation

I am glad to be blogging for many reasons. I begin with the obvious;  now I have a place to scrapbook my family's life. That is hugely important because there are so many things I want to remember, but up until now never took the time to write down. Ask me about Braeden's first time going to story hour at the library and I'm guessing I'll struggle a little a lot to recall the memory. But now, events like that will be written in our family history forever. I hope that all three of my children will be able to read back over this blog someday and recall happy childhoods filled with love, happiness and good times with friends and family.

Along with family scrap booking, this blog is a place where I can openly talk about all that I've been through to get to this point in my life. I want all of my fear/anxiety/PPD experiences written down so that my kids have a point of reference if they ever need it. They will be able to see what I went through and know that if they are ever faced with these challenges, they will be okay. I wish that I had spoken up sooner so many times in my life about the anxieties and fears I so often felt. People were very willing to help when I was ready to talk, but knowing that other members of my family (particularly my paternal grandmother) had gone through so many of these same issues would have been very reassuring to know earlier on. I hope they never need it, but it's here if they do.

Lastly, I am so amazed at the doors that have been thrown open by sharing my story. Many people have shared with me that they have felt similarly at times in their lives; the struggles so familiar to their own personal experiences. Even close friends and relatives that might not have wanted to talk about it before either, are opening up and saying "yeah, I can totally relate to that". I am so honored that you are choosing to share with me. It has helped me immensely to find these bonds and I am coming to realize that I am not alone. And let me tell you, not alone is a great place to be. I feel more connected than ever before even though I'm doing so much of the communication through the computer. The comments that I have received here, on Facebook and in actual face-to-face conversations, make me understand that I am meant to be exactly who I am, in this exact place, at this exact time. I love you all for your support and encouragement. Thank you.

All I had to do was start the conversation.