Saturday, February 18, 2012
Second Guess Much?
Do you ever get all excited about a decision and then spend the moments or days or weeks after feeling overwhelmed by your choice? For most people, joining a gym, starting a blog, or going out with friends is a happy decision met with excitement and anticipation of what's to come. Well, for me, undoubtedly, it is met with a major case of the "what have I done's?" This is closely followed by "I wonder if I can get out of it?" It doesn't even have to be a major decision. It probably doesn't require anything more than committing to something I wanted to do in the first place. On the surface there is absolutely nothing to worry about. However, I struggle every day to just go ahead and try new things, do something out of my comfort zone (which includes most things), or associate with people I don't know very well. Easy enough for the average person; a large mountain to climb for me. I'd like to say I'm getting more comfortable with these every day occurrences, and in a way that is true. My children have given me a buffer so that it is not me that is the focus of anyone's attention. Most of what I do is centered around them - appointments, play dates, school - regular mom stuff. I'm very happy and content in that role. I never want my children to worry the way I did, hesitate to accept a play date because they are frightened of other people's houses, not play soccer because they don't know the coaches (yes, in second grade I ran all the way home from the school because I was afraid of the coaches), worry about performing in a school play because (gasp) people might see them. If I do nothing else, I plan to teach them confidence and a sense of adventure. And if I am able to do that, then I suppose that is one decision I won't have to second guess.